mashable:

Food Art Photography Ilustrates Delicious Side of European Capitals
International travel has never looked so appetizing.
mashable:

Food Art Photography Ilustrates Delicious Side of European Capitals
International travel has never looked so appetizing.
mashable:

Food Art Photography Ilustrates Delicious Side of European Capitals
International travel has never looked so appetizing.
mashable:

Food Art Photography Ilustrates Delicious Side of European Capitals
International travel has never looked so appetizing.
tastefullyoffensive:

[astricks]

thymegatampon:

I’ve registered for Ceramics and French classes and I start in 2 weeks! I’m SO excited!! 😸😊

Um this sounds like it should be my life…

basedgosh:

true dedication is blogging despite the fact that no one paying attention to you

(via thymegatampon)

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

(via squidwardofficial)

who-let-the-daleks-out:

thenerdgirlcometh:

I actually believe artists and scientists think very similarly. Complex, abstract thought? They both have that down. It’s all about where that thinking takes you after that.

Words cannot describe how much I love this post.
who-let-the-daleks-out:

thenerdgirlcometh:

I actually believe artists and scientists think very similarly. Complex, abstract thought? They both have that down. It’s all about where that thinking takes you after that.

Words cannot describe how much I love this post.
who-let-the-daleks-out:

thenerdgirlcometh:

I actually believe artists and scientists think very similarly. Complex, abstract thought? They both have that down. It’s all about where that thinking takes you after that.

Words cannot describe how much I love this post.
who-let-the-daleks-out:

thenerdgirlcometh:

I actually believe artists and scientists think very similarly. Complex, abstract thought? They both have that down. It’s all about where that thinking takes you after that.

Words cannot describe how much I love this post.

who-let-the-daleks-out:

thenerdgirlcometh:

I actually believe artists and scientists think very similarly. Complex, abstract thought? They both have that down. It’s all about where that thinking takes you after that.

Words cannot describe how much I love this post.

(via ironbornasha)

rapunzelie:

chocolatemermaidya:

rapunzelie:

do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals

it’s called makeup

you can put eyeliner on a frat boy that doesn’t change the fact that’s he’s wearing a neon muscle shirt and nike flip flops

(via thymegatampon)

kahomo:

when ur absent from school and you ask the teacher to explain something and they just say ‘well you should have been here’

image

Honestly though. Missing school for a day is like THE WORST THING EVER. But honestly teachers and adults forget that just because you’re under the age of 18 doesn’t mean you have nothing going on in your life outside of work (school).

(via squidwardofficial)

youngblackandvegan:

yosssarian:

if pooh bear can wear a crop top so can i

amen

(via squidwardofficial)

heavybomb:

thatsabingo:

So I follow my aunties on pintrest for like sharing recipes and stuff but today one of them posted this gif:

image

and they’re all commenting like “the perfect man” and “what all women want ;)” and stuff like that

And I’m over here laughing my ass off because that’s gay porn star, Austin Wolf. This gif is from a gay porno. Like, literally 5 seconds after this moment, he has a cock in his mouth.

and what a glorious porno it was

(via squidwardofficial)